God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
so much tequila, so little girl.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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