her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
