You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I checked into jail on foursquare
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize