Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
