Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Enjoy the penises
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
