All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
