Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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