Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
