her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
of course. lets lasso hookers.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
