Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I'm passing your future prison.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
