The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
please come you make the beer taste better
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
