you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
