Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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