stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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