I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
