I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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