Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
