Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Jerry, you need to find god
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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