Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
