2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
i believe in u and ur pee
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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