Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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