My nipple is on Facebook.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
