ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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