i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
