im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize