I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
