in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
