I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Randomize
