During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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