I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
sarcasm needs its own font
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
