Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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