just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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