ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
