I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
