If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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