I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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