I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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