Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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