Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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