eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
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And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize