can u get pink eye on your cock?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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