it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
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