im having a threesome with these popsicles
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I FOUND THE LEGS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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