Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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