What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
