I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I wish you could order shots online.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
