spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
