not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
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I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
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I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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