Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
