So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
