Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize
