woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
