Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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