I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
i believe in u and ur pee
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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