She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
