how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
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I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
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I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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