i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
