is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
