i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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