She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
