Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize