What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
