Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Randomize
