hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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