The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
