The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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