okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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