So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
