Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Randomize