your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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