We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
